2021-11-25

The Zero Date Effect: Why Online Dating Fails

By Garry

Online dating is a modern and affordable way of dating, which is used by millions of people around the world every day. However, such connections are often destroyed at the very first personal meeting – together with a psychologist, we figure out what is the reason for this phenomenon.

Dating apps and online platforms are the most common way to enter into a relationship or even marriage – today they have become popular all over the world. But for many of those who have tried and failed to find true love through digital devices, the hope for apps has long since dried up.

The list of problems associated with online dating is almost endless – too large or, conversely, a small number of matches (matches), mysterious, misleading profiles, security issues, offensive comments and inappropriate content sent without a request. While nearly half of Europe’s under 35 adults have tried some form of digital dating, and the multibillion dollar industry grew 11% between 2014 and early 2021, there are growing signs that the method is online – dating is becoming obsolete. A 2018 BBC poll found that internet platforms are the least preferred way to meet a new person for people between the ages of 16 and 34.

Nevertheless, online dating is still popular, and it is determined by several factors, the main of which is time – online dating is an effective solution for those who are always in a hurry and cannot find extra hours to find a partner in a cafe or bar. However, before you fully dive into online apps with the reckless dedication of a teenage crush, there are a few things worth knowing about.

People lie on their internet profiles

Okay, this is hardly an amazing revelation. But yes, people want to be attractive, and the internet is the perfect space for fantasy. According to research, women cheated more than men, and the most common lie was related to their appearance – for example, more than 20% of women published photos from their youth, even if their appearance has changed greatly now. Men most often lied about their financial situation, in particular about work – more than 40% of men indicated that they were doing it.

If you’re looking for a serious relationship, online dating can be frustrating.

One of the big problems with online dating is that many people use dating systems solely to find a partner for one night. So, according to surveys, many men assume that if a woman has a profile in the application, she is interested in short-term romances and does not mind sleeping with a candidate on the first date.

Dating apps give too much freedom of choice

It’s easy to brush off a photo of one man when the menu is overflowing with other potential partners. According to the Association for Psychological Science, considering multiple candidates at once makes people more biased and inclined to reject a potential partner at the slightest feeling that something is wrong, although in a face-to-face meeting, the communication would last much longer, and perhaps give a better result. …

However, the situations described above are just a set of common problems that many users of online dating platforms are aware of. The main disadvantage of online dating is the absence of a zero date – the first meeting in reality, when partners evaluate each other without having received any information. For example, a man and a woman went to the same party of mutual acquaintances, saw each other, spent some time observing and decided to talk. This moment is called zero date – partners make up the first impression of each other, having not yet received any context, that is, they rely only on their emotions, feelings, instincts. A person can be attracted by smell, facial expressions, timbre of voice, manner of communication, laughter, energy, and it is these factors that will become decisive when it comes to a real first date.