How often can you text a guy?
A short guide for those who are afraid of being intrusive or taking the first step
When you are in love or are interested in a relationship with a particular person, your hands often reach out every hour to ask how he is doing and what he is doing, right? Don’t be shy, it’s completely normal!
This is embarrassing for many girls, because we are accustomed to the fact that the guys should be the first to take the initiative. And it doesn’t matter if you are the first to write to him to meet him or who wrote the first in a day, you still worry that you are doing something wrong. And once again ask him who he is going for a walk with or why he went to the cinema not with you is quite stressful
Today we decided to ask the opinion of professionals and practicing psychologists, who will surely dispel your doubts. After their comments, you will know exactly how often you should open a dialogue with a guy and whether you should be afraid that there are too many of you in your relationship. Let’s start!
Of course, you can text the guy first.
However, remember that you don’t have to ask every hour, “What are you doing?” and “How are you?” A guy can be busy with his studies, spending time with friends: you should not interfere with his usual activities. Also give time for an answer, and do not ask after a 5-minute silence: “Why are you silent?”, “Why don’t you answer?” This type of communication is annoying.At the beginning of a relationship, it is quite possible to write in the morning (wish good morning), then during the day to ask about plans and mood, make an appointment, etc.
For the rest, everything is individual. Some guys like to be texted a lot, some prefer to “keep their distance.” And in the future, if your relationship develops, you yourself will understand whether you need to write to him often or not.
In the modern world, there is no longer a clear division of who takes the initiative in relationships. Both men and women can call first and initiate communication. Now there is a tendency that partners in relationships are equal. Therefore, you should not sit by the window and wait for the young man to call. It is quite possible to call or write first and make an appointment.
Of course, it is worth distinguishing between initiative and self-imposition. Common sense has not yet been canceled.
How often should you call your boyfriend? Here you need to focus on the needs of the guy and the girl. For some, once a day it is often, but for someone 10 calls is normal.
When a girl calls a guy a lot, there may be several reasons:
- Attachment disorder and constant calls she soothes herself that “yes, he is here, he is with me, he loves me.
- Or she has a pattern that real intimacy is constant calls.
- Perhaps the girl does not have an inner support for herself and then she transfers this support outside, to the guy. And then, of course, she will make any decisions only in agreement with the guy.
- The girl has a limited circle of friends or relatives.
But most importantly, when a person has strong internal anxiety, the need for a man is not closed, the lack of internal support and a close circle of friends, she will transfer all this to the guy, call him, need communication and demand increased attention from him.
What to look for if a girl can’t help but call a guy. It must be remembered that a guy is not a mom, not a friend, not a sister, he is a guy. And the girl needs to learn to close her need for attention and communication through her friends, relatives. Can find friends with the same interests, some circles, meetings. Do more of yourself. As a last resort, contact a psychologist in order with his help to solve a problem in excess of the need to communicate with a guy.
There are no specific instructions on how to correspond with guys. You may be surprised, but in Internet communication, young men and women react in exactly the same way to the same things!
Surely you had at least one friend who endlessly scribbled you monotonous messages consisting of stereotyped questions, inept compliments and other meaningless information. Remembered? Grimaced? Fine! When you want to ask a guy for the sixth time in a day how he is doing, immediately remember this acquaintance. Both boys and girls try to “dynamite” obsessive interlocutors.
There is also another extreme. Girls who want to raise their importance in the eyes of the interlocutor often fall into this trap. In correspondence with the guy, they keep themselves emphatically cold, wanting to whet his interest. Trust me, no guy will appreciate the Silent and Snow Queen games! If you do not take the initiative at all in the correspondence, the young man will decide that he is not interesting to you and will quickly disappear from the radar.
But what if you yourself cannot spend a minute without communicating with a guy? The constant need to correspond with a young person may indicate that you are prone to addiction to the relationship. It arises when we begin to love another person more than ourselves.